What does Satan eat for dessert?

I found out the answer to the question posed above on Sunday at Dairy Queen.

I am sweets obsessed. My hips and rear are, like the universe, constantly expanding. My expansion is due solely to my weakness for sweets, treats and sugary goodness. I gave up drinking, I gave up smoking, I am having the worst time giving up my desserts.

Matt and I went and had a lovely (and light) sushi dinner Sunday night. Then I needed a sugar fix and remembered a sign that read "YUM YUM COTTON CANDY". I adore cotton candy, especially stuff that's flavored cotton candy like lollipops and ice cream. I love the flavors like party cake and bubble gum that are so super sweet that you're sure to get diabetes simply by smelling the dessert in question. So we hit up the DQ for the latest Blizzard concoction. After all, I had to try it cause it's for a limited time only!

It's a cotton candy Blizzard. It looked beautiful. It was pink with little bits of blue and purple sprinkles. I took one bite and said aloud "OH MY GOD". I'm sure I made some crazy face so Matt asked me what the problem was. I made him eat a bite. He said "OH MY GOD".

It's unreal. It's a dessert from depths of hell. It's without a doubt the sweetest thing I've ever eaten in my life. The ice cream is sweeter than any cotton candy ice cream I've ever had. The little bits of color sprinkles turned out to be pure sugar. The sugar bits crunched in my mouth and I swear that I could feel the cavities forming in my teeth instantly.

It satiated my sugar craving. I got a medium size and I could only eat half. I've never once in my life not been able to finish a dessert, but this was too much for me. It was 8pm when I ate the treat. At 10pm I was still bouncing off the walls and by 11:30pm I had been lying awake for so long and still couldn't fall asleep. I've never really considered sugar to be a drug until Sunday night. I'm surprised that I didn't fall into a diabetic coma.

I ate the rest last night. Again, it was evil. I don't know what I was thinking or why I ate more. Satan works his evil. Never again, I promise that. I looked up the nutrition info on that crazy evil bastard cotton candy Blizzard and the medium size has 800 calories. Yes, you read that right. That's true evil right there, folks. Dairy Queen is the devil. I think I'll stick to Breyers.