Tuesday, January 26, 2010

More publicity materials

I had foolishly neglected to read the "Executive Summary" on the back of the flier for the company I referred to in my last post. The flier is sort of a handmade tri-fold brochure with black text printed on shocking hot pink cardstock paper. The picture is AMAZING. I cannot post it here, but ask and perhaps I'll send it to you. In the meantime, here is the entire text as printed on the back of this brochure. As before, I have taken great pains to ensure that I am typing this text just as it appears on the brochure. Also, please note that the company is based in Virginia and the artist's bio indicates that he graduated from a local high school. English is indeed this person's first language. Apparently they spellchecked their work but neglected to employ a proofreader.


People are only humans. We live a life that require making choices for survival. One choice we make is laughter. It acts in many cases the same as music. Together, with music and laughter, one can soothe the savage beast. This beast that so very present can be controlled by musical dramatics. With that being a fact, people can learn from repetition or recognition.

Ventriloquism, the arts, need only five minutes to employ a lifetime of memories. In so doing, ***'s company of puppet and vent dolls uses the open option, showing its participants values of true and self expression through performing arts. A professional gardener once said "Every seed will produce a flower". *** puppets will sow seeds by the handful, making a nice, almost perfect, harvest. We will harvest good products using proper measures.
"Good seed sowed, brings flowers of gold".

Monday, January 25, 2010

Press release

This is a press release sent to my work. Yes, this is a real press release sent to us by what is most likely a real company. They sent us a flier recently, too, but this letter is my treasure. I keep it near and dear to me. The name of the company that sent this has been removed. This is the letter, typed word for word, error for error (and yes, I fully understand that I will burn in hell for this and many other things):


***company's mission is to expose adolescent's youth to the values of self expression through the Performing Arts while providing and quality fundamental education to the youth in the community. We will bring ventriloquism to the fore fronts of wholesome family entertainment.


We will exercise our ambitions to enlighten and enrich each and every one of our participants, within the levels of self-esteem and creation. The community provided for these youth allow problems such as gang violence, teen pregnancy, high school drop outs as well as runaways. Our vision is to provide a positive path for out disadvantage youth in helping them find the positive within themselves. We will like for them to allow their voices and visions to be accepted with applause coming from with in. Statistically they have no chance in the world handed for them, so we are going to be that world of chance. Personify life through means of puppetry helping them recap cliche in an example. Our model is "Each one teach one" meaning the first stage toward excellence. We use theatrics, songs, dance, spoken word, poetic justice, community leaders, volunteers with in the community and celery. This is the village we will provide to help us help them.

Thank you for your time and I would really like for you or your organization to contact me and or my company. We will like your help in fulfilling our mission of endeavors. Donation and your support are highly excepted.

(P.S. The letterhead this was printed on has the name of the city where they reside misspelled.)


Things have been busy. Too much for this girl. It's all work, too, so that's no fun at all. However, I got a fabulous letter in the mail that I will share with you. Please see post above, names have been changed for protection. This is a real and true press release submitted to the theatre where I work in hopes that we would book their group for performances. It's so lovely that I keep re-reading it to bring a little sunshine into my harrowing days. Spelling errors are deliberately typed, I have take great measure to type the letter exactly. I should scan it. Oh well. Maybe I shall do so soon.
Also, I realized that I am in the wrong line of work. I am far too misanthropic to be dealing with the public.