WASTING TIME (MINE & YOURS)

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

po

I want to go hear Phoenix tonight but I spent up all my money on Massive Attack, The Buzzcocks and Girl in a Coma. Ah well, I did what I had to do.

Word on the web is that the baby above is packed and maybe on its way from Gallery 1988 CA to my doorstep right now. That'll be my prized baby now. I'll have to find a special place for her. Oh, and she's probably the main reason I'm strapped, but she'll be worth it, I'm sure.

After that, I was trying so hard to behave but then I saw this guy and I couldn't resist.

These babies'll be the end of me. And what a fun it will be! That reminds me, I need to post a pic of my happy new office, too...

Thursday, April 8, 2010

random stories and musings

Those who know me are aware that I love stories, especially true ones. There's nothing quite like the unbelievable truth. Here are some brief random bits and pieces that I've picked up over the past few weeks that are all true.

I nearly set our kitchen on fire when I left tortilla chips in the oven for too long. I did this because I got sidetracked when I discovered that I would have to report for jury duty on my final assigned day. I had to make several phone calls in order to get someone to work for me. Meanwhile, the tortilla chips became little flaming black lumps of coal. My husband grabbed the fire extinguisher and put the fire out. The fire extinguisher emits a powdery chemical that in turn coated every surface in three rooms. We spent hours cleaning up chemical powder. All the food was ruined and we ended up having to go out for dinner.

I had to report for jury duty. The case was somewhat farcical - it centered around a marijuana dealer who had been arrested nearly 2 years ago. Three hours were spent selecting the jury. I decided to go in with a positive attitude and treat it as "life experience". As it turns out, this day was quite revelatory as I discovered that I have prejudices that prevent me from serving on a jury. It's not at all what you might think (I was not even aware myself). Turns out I don't trust police officers. Don't trust 'em, don't like 'em. The judge actually brought me in for questioning by himself and the attorneys after the courtroom was cleared of all jurors and police officers. The prosecuting attorney questioned me and I answered with sincere honesty. I was quickly struck from the jury list, though the defense attorney and his team thought I was perfect.

My husband has a coworker who is in the process of buying a townhouse. She narrowed it down to three townhouses. Each townhouse was very similar and all were within $1000 of the same price. She eventually selected one. I would think that she might consider parking, might meet the neighbors, etc, when making a final decision. She chose a unit based on the staircase. Each townhouse had two stories and each had a staircase between the floors. The unit she chose has a small landing in the middle of the staircase. She figured that if she falls down the stairs, she would have a shorter distance to fall. This was the main factor in the decision to buy her townhouse.

My guitar instructor plays in a covers band (I have never heard them). He was telling me that they were going to play a show but that it was indefinitely postponed. The reason for this is because the bass player shot his own finger off. The guy was on his lunch break and decided to use the opportunity to clean his gun. He got in his pickup truck and started the cleaning process when he got distracted and made a mistake. The gun went off and blew off the majority of his finger, then the bullet ricocheted off the sideview mirror and shot out into the busy boulevard nearby. Fortunately no one was injured except Mr. Clean My Gun In My Truck. The man now might be able to play again in 8 months or so. Meanwhile, the doctors are apparently taping the gnarled up remainder of his finger to the adjacent finger with the the idea that the damaged finger will fuse and start growing tissue again. My guitar teacher kept referring to the muscle and tissue as "meat". He was on and on about how the guy blew all the meat off of his finger and how they are trying to get the finger to grow more meat. I laughed throughout the entire story though it was not told to me for comic effect. I just kept apologizing for laughing but he didn't seem to mind that I found this to be hilarious.

That's all for now. I'll post more little stories sometime soon.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Mysteries of love

Thanks to the magic of the internet, I could do a quick google search and found that December 14, 1995 was the day that I first fell in love.
I was 17 years old laying in the middle of a field listening to The Smiths song "I Know It's Over" on a cassette player through my headphones. I listened to that song probably 20 times that day. That song turned out to be quite prescient.
I remember this now because I just was listening to The Queen is Dead and it all came rushing back to me.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Anglophilia

Things are pretty good. Work is slowing down from mass chaos to manageable insanity.

My husband called just now to inform me that No Distance Left to Run is waiting for me when I get home from work. Even if I'm tired and even though I have to get up early to work two awful, painful children's shows tomorrow, I am not certain that I want to live another day without having seen this movie.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

I hate everything and this week just gets worse and worse. This is just heartbreaking to me.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/35348689/?GT1=43001

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

More publicity materials

I had foolishly neglected to read the "Executive Summary" on the back of the flier for the company I referred to in my last post. The flier is sort of a handmade tri-fold brochure with black text printed on shocking hot pink cardstock paper. The picture is AMAZING. I cannot post it here, but ask and perhaps I'll send it to you. In the meantime, here is the entire text as printed on the back of this brochure. As before, I have taken great pains to ensure that I am typing this text just as it appears on the brochure. Also, please note that the company is based in Virginia and the artist's bio indicates that he graduated from a local high school. English is indeed this person's first language. Apparently they spellchecked their work but neglected to employ a proofreader.



EXECUTIVE SUMMARY

People are only humans. We live a life that require making choices for survival. One choice we make is laughter. It acts in many cases the same as music. Together, with music and laughter, one can soothe the savage beast. This beast that so very present can be controlled by musical dramatics. With that being a fact, people can learn from repetition or recognition.

Ventriloquism, the arts, need only five minutes to employ a lifetime of memories. In so doing, ***'s company of puppet and vent dolls uses the open option, showing its participants values of true and self expression through performing arts. A professional gardener once said "Every seed will produce a flower". *** puppets will sow seeds by the handful, making a nice, almost perfect, harvest. We will harvest good products using proper measures.
"Good seed sowed, brings flowers of gold".

Monday, January 25, 2010

Press release

This is a press release sent to my work. Yes, this is a real press release sent to us by what is most likely a real company. They sent us a flier recently, too, but this letter is my treasure. I keep it near and dear to me. The name of the company that sent this has been removed. This is the letter, typed word for word, error for error (and yes, I fully understand that I will burn in hell for this and many other things):


Mission:

***company's mission is to expose adolescent's youth to the values of self expression through the Performing Arts while providing and quality fundamental education to the youth in the community. We will bring ventriloquism to the fore fronts of wholesome family entertainment.

Vision:

We will exercise our ambitions to enlighten and enrich each and every one of our participants, within the levels of self-esteem and creation. The community provided for these youth allow problems such as gang violence, teen pregnancy, high school drop outs as well as runaways. Our vision is to provide a positive path for out disadvantage youth in helping them find the positive within themselves. We will like for them to allow their voices and visions to be accepted with applause coming from with in. Statistically they have no chance in the world handed for them, so we are going to be that world of chance. Personify life through means of puppetry helping them recap cliche in an example. Our model is "Each one teach one" meaning the first stage toward excellence. We use theatrics, songs, dance, spoken word, poetic justice, community leaders, volunteers with in the community and celery. This is the village we will provide to help us help them.

Thank you for your time and I would really like for you or your organization to contact me and or my company. We will like your help in fulfilling our mission of endeavors. Donation and your support are highly excepted.

(P.S. The letterhead this was printed on has the name of the city where they reside misspelled.)