Press release

This is a press release sent to my work. Yes, this is a real press release sent to us by what is most likely a real company. They sent us a flier recently, too, but this letter is my treasure. I keep it near and dear to me. The name of the company that sent this has been removed. This is the letter, typed word for word, error for error (and yes, I fully understand that I will burn in hell for this and many other things):


Mission:

***company's mission is to expose adolescent's youth to the values of self expression through the Performing Arts while providing and quality fundamental education to the youth in the community. We will bring ventriloquism to the fore fronts of wholesome family entertainment.

Vision:

We will exercise our ambitions to enlighten and enrich each and every one of our participants, within the levels of self-esteem and creation. The community provided for these youth allow problems such as gang violence, teen pregnancy, high school drop outs as well as runaways. Our vision is to provide a positive path for out disadvantage youth in helping them find the positive within themselves. We will like for them to allow their voices and visions to be accepted with applause coming from with in. Statistically they have no chance in the world handed for them, so we are going to be that world of chance. Personify life through means of puppetry helping them recap cliche in an example. Our model is "Each one teach one" meaning the first stage toward excellence. We use theatrics, songs, dance, spoken word, poetic justice, community leaders, volunteers with in the community and celery. This is the village we will provide to help us help them.

Thank you for your time and I would really like for you or your organization to contact me and or my company. We will like your help in fulfilling our mission of endeavors. Donation and your support are highly excepted.

(P.S. The letterhead this was printed on has the name of the city where they reside misspelled.)