I transcribed a phone call that I received at work yesterday. No, this is not a joke or some prank call. I attempted to transcribe it verbatim. This is why I'm so tired after work. I fear for the future of the human race and pray that stupidity isn't contagious.
Caller: I’d like tickets for Saturday’s performance of M*A*S*H.
Me: We don’t have M*A*S*H here, m’am. We have Catch-22 that evening.
Caller: Oh! Maybe that’s what I wanted to see. Can I get one ticket then?
Me: You can reserve a ticket using a Visa or a MasterCard.Caller: Oh no, I don’t want to do that. Can I just buy one?
Me: You can buy tickets at the door, but please call on Saturday just to make sure that tickets are still available that evening.
Caller: Okay, I’ll do that. I really want to see M*A*S*H.
Me: It’s not M*A*S*H, m’am. It’s Catch-22.
Caller: Oh, is M*A*S*H on Friday then?
Me: No, it’s Julius Caesar on Friday.Caller: So M*A*S*H is only on Saturday?
Me: No, m'am. Julius Caesar will be on Friday and Catch-22 will be performed on Saturday.Caller: Oh, that's right! I'll call back then.